What could be worse than being a single? Married? I don’t know. I can’t speak for everyone. The worst part of being single for me is not enjoying being a single.
It is already hard to just enjoy your daily life. The fact that, we all live in a big city, and run by the capitalism, is just tiring.
You get up in the morning, grab whatever you can, put it in your month and get on a subway. I have a very moody, bitchy morning with the subway. I have to squeeze my size 4 ass in the gap between two human beings. The one in the front is always a man and his head is always on my boobs. (I am 165 and plus 3-4 inch). The one in the back, never mind. Can you see the picture of a poor little girl in 4 inch heels with a handbag and a laptop and a blackberry on her phone? That is just a sad picture, isn’t it? I struggle every damn day.
When you reach your work, first thing you do is ‘ FACEBOOK’ , correct me if I’m wrong? Some of us check work email, news, youtube. It starts with computer(s) NOTE : I work with 2 computers. The moment you open whatever you want there is already something for you that get to your nerves.
400 emails to reply, Photos Tagged that need to be removed, Bin le din death, Summer fashion week, Some celebs get pregnant . Already, DISTURBED….
What about the work, itself? We all have a bad day, good day, busy day, shitty day. (That’s why it’s called work duh?) You go through all your work from 10 – 5 or even later than that. DISTURBED.. ..
Even with a daily basis for example , getting a coffee. You have to stand in line, wait, spend money that can pay for the whole meal, and then you get the wrong coffee. You ordered latte with low fat milk and this is not low fat!! ( I don’t know how some of us notice that) You get all upset. You walk along the street, under the sun, sweat, and all of sudden. IT’S RAINING. DISTURBED…
I could come up with a lot of stories, but what would it do to you? Nothing. It just going to be another DISTURBING shit.
Now, imagine that all these plus ‘that person’. It works for both, women and men. We all have experienced the moment of “where are you?” “What are you doing?” “Who are you with?” “When you are coming home?”. Even better “If you don’t call me back, IT’S OVER” ……….. WTF
My last two relationships were just like that. “They disturbed the shit out of me”. I admit it; I was a crazy freak too, when I was with my first boyfriend. And karma bit me big time in the ass for my 2nd one.
My 2nd boyfriend did me good. Well, I am not going to talk shit about whatever happened in the past, but I am going to give him credits to get my ass in line, in a mentally disturbing way.
Thanks God, those days blackberry and iPhone weren’t a hit, otherwise we would be checking each other locations and whether we have read the message or not. My super ex-boyfriend; let’s called him a sergeant. One time I went out with my gay friends and the sergeant felt the need of being protective or something. He decided to wait at the hotel, drinking coffee. I was having fun and around 11 o’clock, I got a text from the sergeant said”AREYOU COMING HOME OR WHAT?” ….
Ok, it’s 11. I had to go ……
Or, he would send text all day asking ‘what are you doing?’ ‘Who are you with?’ ‘What time should I pick you up?’ He was just a caring loving person, wasn’t he? Yeah, if you could do the same. He wouldn’t let me question him like that and it drove me nuts because I wouldn’t know where he was, who he was with. Until I found out something behind with witnesses and evident.
My confession, I did almost exact same things to my 1st one. I would text him non-stop. I would call and call and call until he picked up or decided to turn his phone off. One thing about this ex was, he was a shady motherfucker. He had everything to hide and that’s why I kept finding shit. So, it turned out just as I thought it was. Basically I got a mental disturbed by thinking and wondering and crying every damn night. He got the same shit from me. Who would stand 100 missed calls? A zillion stupid texts ,and emails? All the dramas, yelling, screaming ….. Both of us were disturbed . I had to study. He had to work and we had to deal with our unhealthy relationship. I was young and I have learned my mistakes. Two disturbing relationships.
And that’s when I decided not to have a relationship for a while. And here it came my half a relationship. It was good. Convenient relationship that two mature human could have. And then it went wrong and there was some point I got disturbed. Well, it was just a matter of heart. But, I can honestly say that he was the only guy I fell in love with. We will call him “Mr. Oreo” (my friends used to name him “Mr. Thonglor” because that where he lived and I never said anything about him to my friends. They just knew that I always go to Thonglor)
Now, I am too tired to handle all these relationship things. I guess I have been living alone and being disturbed a lot by work, studies, activities, society. I can let anyone become another sickness to my mentality. It doesn’t mean that everyone who will come to my life would bring trouble. I am pretty sure there will be that one person for every one of us who comes into our lives and not becoming an issues or another disturbing object.
Right at this moment, while I am writing this blog, I also having my dinner (It’s 9.50) which I bought from Starbucks at 4 pm. And I have been going back and forth to Starbucks 3 times today. I just couldn’t be bothered to think of what to eat. Whatever that comes up on my mind and easy for me to just stuffed my face on it and still be able to work that’s the best. This also means financial disturbed.
So, if someone wants to be in my life, he can. On only one condition: DO NOT DISTURBS. He doesn’t have to make me any happier, but he is not ALLOWED to take away my happiness. He has to be a guy who DARES to SHARE. Am I asking too much? Who do I think I am? I have been there, done that.
I make the best out of myself and I deserve what I deserve… SO do you!