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I SPEAK MARTIAN…..

 I am pretty good at doing a research. My graduation piece was hot. Nobody would kill my research studies in any case. I didn’t sleep for months. I cried. I didn’t eat anything, but birds’ food. There were uncountable numbers of people who secretly hated me and openly hated me. At some point, I was thinking about leaving the country. HAHA.

This story has nothing to do with my political research. I just want you to have an idea of how I do some research and I take my case seriously.

I have had some decent playboy friends. These guys are very good friends of mine. They treat me as a woman, but they treat their girls like …. I don’t know. I love them so much. I have to admit that I wouldn’t be able to make it alive in any kind of relationship I got myself into without my boys. I am not saying that they aren’t an asshole, they still are. And I have learned some tricks.

Sorry, boys you know I love you, but I need to do this to save my girls from YOU PEOPLE.

If it’s not a relationship, you have no right.

The Martian hates drama. They don’t start drama. We do. Admit it!  When your Martian says “It’s casual” you have to respect or you leave. The Martian, don’t like complications. They love it simple. I have to tell you there are two kinds of these aliens. The first specie is quite simple, they tell you exactly what they want, how the game plays, what are their rules. DO NOT FALL FOR THIS HONESTY. The second specie is very easy to fall into, charming, loving, and sensitive, name it, they have them all. This is a dangerous type. If you don’t get them in the act, they will never crack. They will make you believe everything and you (we) are stupid enough to believe those crap.

Here are some things I have learned and seen from my boys. Almost, every one of them even told me the secrets themselves, without me asking. Because they are my friends and they don’t want other assholes to get into my pants and hurt me. I know, that’s why I said I love them.

“CELLPHONE” it is more than a cellphone. Even for us, cellphone is more personal than tampons. Men hate girls who check their boyfriends’ phones. My bestie “The brainer” told me if he caught his girl checking his phone, she’d be OUT. But, he lent me his phone when my phone was dead. How nice of him. My 2nd ex was a phone freak. He checked my phone. He checked my contact list. I never checked his. I used to be one of those maniacs who sneakily check my boy’s phone. I did it twice with my 1st ex, and I didn’t like what I saw, both times. My decision was, not to look for anything because if you look for troubles, you will find them.

The Martian, are way smarter than us. You will never see women’s names in their contacts. Why? Because” Cherry” turns into “Charley”. “Brenda” appears as “Brandon” the one your boy goes to see soccer with every Saturday. “Ricky” is actually “Lick me” who always hangs out with your boy after work. Truth hurts, I know…..

“I DON’T KNOW WHY I DID THAT. I NEVER WANTED TO HURT YOU”   99.9 percent of women buy it. I did. I know you did too. The brainer said to me once when I was in a deep hole of my relationship. My Martian did something unforgiveable and he said the same exact sentence as I mentioned above. The brainer, who spent shit load of money from Australia calling me at 7 am his time to make sure I was ok. Said “This is the sentence I’ll say to the girl after I cheat on her too, believe me I am an asshole” Remember, the second mistake is done by choice. If the guy cares enough and doesn’t want to hurt you he will never hurt you. He will even leave if he realizes he will cause you pain more than making you happy. DREAMING??

“SHE DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING”   means “I nailed her, I might do it again when you away and that’s it” I don’t have any other or better translation. It is what it is……

It’s Friday. I don’t want to leave you girls with all the craziness. I have a lot more to tell. I will make sure I don’t miss anything. I have spent 2 years on this research, not going to give it up. Why don’t you ladies just go have some fun? I will reveal the rest later, if I don’t get shot by some Martian.

Summery, we love them. We need one and only. I believe there is that person for everyone. “Mr. Right” he is out there, somewhere, with someone, having fun. While we are waiting for “Mr. Right” we can enjoy “Mr. Right Here, Right now” 

Bottom line, I don’t want to start a fight. I just want us to live with these crazy creatures in peace. One thing I have heard from all of these guys and I truly believe it was this sentenceIf I find someone who really understand me, doesn’t irritate the shit out of me, and enjoy spending time with. I will stop playing around. But, I am single now, what do you expect?  …. On my personal thought I don’t expect much because I know somewhere along this path, there is “MR. RIGHT “for me. So, I won’t waste my expectation to someone who won’t see how much I worth.

Pick up the pace; let’s go out, Bling to the world Ladies

WIM on Friday J

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